Complex equivalence
Complex equivalence (X↔Y, or X is equivalent to Y) draws an unsubstantiated link between an event and its consequence. The logic just does not follow.
Example 1
- Client: "And now my secretary quit. I'll be bankrupt by the end of the year!"
- Challenge: "Are you telling me your fortune depended on your secretary's employment?"
Example 2
- Client: "She is always late, she must not love me."
- Challenge: "How, specifically, does her lateness mean she does not love you?"
A Complex Equivalence is an example of distortion and is a statement where two meanings are equated as being synonymous or, if you prefer, where one thing means another. Complex Equivalence often appears in speech as a series of two sequential statements such as:-
- She doesn't like me. She never smiles at me.
- He was late for our appointment. He has no respect for my time.
- They can't be interested. They didn't respond to my letter.
- Remember that in Complex Equivalence the two statements are considered to be equal or to have the same meaning i.e.
- [The fact that] she never smiles at me means that she doesn't like me.
or:-
- She never smiles at me = She doesn't like me.
The Meta model response for a Complex Equivalence is to challenge it or to provide a counter-example i.e.
- Do you always smile at everyone you like every time you see them?
- Have you ever smiled at someone you secretly hated?
- What has being late got to do with respect?
- Have you ever been late for a meeting with a person you respected?
- Have you ever been on time and not respected the person?
- When you're interested in someone do you always write to them immediately?
- Would a hastily scribbled note convince you that they were really interested in you?
In other words, when presented with a Complex Equivalence form such as x = y or x means y we can respond in the following forms:-
- How does x mean y?
- Does X always mean y?
- Can you think of examples where x does not mean y?
Sources: http://nlpglossary.blogspot.com/search/label/Complex Equivalence http://home.earthlink.net/~nlper999/miltmod.html#nom http://www.microdot.net/nlp/precise-communication/
<<snapshot print label:print id:here>>
